Have you watched television or read the newspaper lately? Don't let your dog sleep with you. It can kill you.
Wait 'til I tell Ginger that her soft, warm bed is soon to be a thing of the past. She's giving me the plague. The plague??? I thought the plague had been wiped out centuries ago. And that her sloppy kisses that I regularly ask for, expose me to meningitis. I'll be dead before my time if I allow her to remain in my bed.
What happened to pets help us live longer by reducing blood pressure and keeping our bodies moving with regular walks? Ginger jumps for joy when I return home after a long day at work. She brings a smile to my face when I least expect it and when I need it most. She doesn't want to kill me. She loves me.
How can I tell her she's no longer welcome to curl up in the crook of my arm each night? Or that I won't be able to feel her soft warm breath on my cheek as I drift off to sleep or she mine? Her heart will break when I explain about the plague.
I've read all the facts and listened to all the news and I've made a decision. As in Medieval times, when I see horses drawing wooden carts down my street filled with bodies that have succumbed to the Black Death, I'll see that as a reason to become concerned. Until that happens Ginger and I will sleep nose to nose, cheek to cheek and heart to heart. And if I die of the plague, the horse drawn cart will stop to pick me up.
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