Old Farts

"There is really nothing on TV tonight," I said as I flipped through the channels with the remote control.

"Turn on the guide. See if there are any good movies on," Richard commented.

Every conversation at work or lunch out with the girls turns to television. Did you see this show or that? Do you follow American Idol or Dancing With the Stars or Grey's Anatomy or Law and Order? I think Richard and I watch too much television but we never seem to be watching what everyone else is.

"Why don't you tape it?" my friends ask.

"I don't have a DVR." I refrain from adding that I probably wouldn't know how to use it if I did. The DVD player is rarely used for that very reason. Too much hassle.

I scrolled through the TV guide. "How about Saturday Night Live reruns on VH1?"

"Sounds good," Richard mumbled.

I hadn't watched SNL in years. In college we stopped whatever we were doing on Saturday night to watch it at 11 or whatever late hour it came on. I haven't stayed up past 10 pm in years. We curled up on the couch pretending it was midnight. Some of SNL was funny. I liked Tina Fey as Sarah Palin and Will Ferrell as George W. Bush. But alot of it I just plain didn't get. Neither did Richard. We were just getting ready to call it quits when a commercial came on. Our eyes quickly riveted to the screen.

When the commercial finished Richard said, "Did we just see a condom commercial?"

"I think we did. On prime time television? How did that happen?" I was dazed and shocked. I'd learned to tune out the feminine pad advertising long ago but condoms? I'd never seen a condom commercial before.

If we had a DVR and knew how to use it we wouldn't have seen the condom commercial. I'm told I'd be able to skip all the commercials and watch an entire program in half the time. Imagine all the shows we could watch! Speed watching! Just think of the excitement we've missed!

The condom shock faded quickly and our eyelids began to droop once again. I turned off the TV and we trudged off to bed. To sleep.

We really are a couple of old farts. Good night!